she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
