You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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