We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
