just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
