Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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