Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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