When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
