I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
