did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
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So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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