wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
