Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
