Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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