i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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