if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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