dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My cat gives me a boner
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he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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