So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
there's paper in my vomit.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
