i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
