Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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