Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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