real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
