I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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