Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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