If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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