i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
