Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
