He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
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She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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