he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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