I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
