I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
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I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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