I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
