We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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