omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
