Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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