we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
