Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
