You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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