Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
