people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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