then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
