He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
