Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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