I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
