pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
