She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
