So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
