oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
