dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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