we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
