I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
