My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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