Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
