i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
