White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
