I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
