I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sext me about skeletons
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
