So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Damn victory sex feels great
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
