I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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