Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
