Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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