Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
