i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
