after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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