so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
