so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
