Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
