She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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